How can I split myself into four ???… Serious question? Well if I have to think about it how do I split myself into 6. I need to be Mammy to the four children, who all have different needs and wants, I have to be a wife to my understanding husband (who isn’t getting enough attention lately) and I need to be Me to look after myself. So how do I so it?
I’ve been so busy this week trying to finish the kitchen which I started the June bank holiday 2015. The kids have been let run wild, The back garden is full of poster paint and wood that the girls decided to “paint” . Charlie has been moved from bouncer to buggy to the floor to walker just to keep him quiet. Karl is off work this week and he has been handed list upon lists to help get the work done, he actually would rather be in work. As for me, I’ve totally neglected myself and my emotions I’ve not allowed myself look at any social media and news programs because of what happened in Manchester at the Ariana Grande concert and also the tiny baby who died in Tipperary, Because I just can’t deal with the feelings I might feel, I haven’t allowed myself to have a spare minute at all this week. To gather my feelings and check in.
After the day I had today. Cleaned the upstairs of the house all three bedrooms and bathroom & also decided to clean the BBQ. While I was out the back scrubbing the BBQ. The horrid sound came. The sound that every parent dreads ….. THE ICECREAM VAN! I knew immediately what would happen, so I shouted: “Victoria don’t open that door.. it was like I had said to her. “If u open that door I will buy you 3 ice creams” also it was as if I said to Jake the dog “That if you run out the door I’ll buy you three bitches that you can actually get on top off. ( we have a dog pomeranian and a bitch husky.. great fun to be had.. they even swap roles and even ends)
Well within that five seconds Victoria opened the door and Jake the dog went running….. I went running after him… so bear in mind it was 26 degrees in Naas today ,there goes me running in flip flops and a pair of shorts that I put on me this morning knowing I wouldn’t be leaving the house.. and when I get back to find Gabi had poured out a drink from a 2 Litre bottle of Fanta. She missed the glass and filled the table and floor with sticky Fanta… I was so wound up I had to escape. I went to my bedroom and left Karl to look after the kids.
Tonight I let go I spent almost an hour in the garden with the family, playing eye spy we all laughed and got annoyed together and for the first time this week we all got along, also figured out that my kids didn’t lick their weirdness from a stone. And after I put the big kids to bed, the baby, Charlie, just clung to me. It was as if he wanted to say to me mammy don’t put me down again. He held onto my hair while I felt him inhaling my scent. I could feel his cheekbone going into a smile. That’s what made me say… Fuck the house. Fuck the residents association. Fuck anyone other than the Our Kingdom. The six of us is all that matters :The King & Queen, The Prince’s and Princess and well even the Stupid Dogs. That’s all who I care about.
Now, this could be the gin and tonic sorbet and bottle of prosecco talking….