Right, I am going to talk about common sense and how we are supposed to do things. I am a mammy of four and am at the stage in my parenting career that if I make a mistake in one thing by the time the fourth child comes up to that age I won’t make that mistake.
There is so much information out there and bloggers and influencers to promote breastfeeding, that “breast is best”. But what about the people out there who cant breast feet I have had four children and I only breast fed two of them. Breastfeeding was forced upon me with my first pregnancy, and with being only 20 I did everything the doctor told me, however when I was in the hospital the baby didn’t latch on properly and the midwife during the night gave Callum a bottle. Also been so naive I didn’t say no, then Callum got to used to been “topped up” and wouldn’t go to on the breast for long , and I wasn’t emptying my boobs enough of milk, he was 20 days old, it was Christmas Eve and I had gotten mastitis on my breast, my mam took the baby and told Karl to bring me to the doctor. He said I should finish breastfeeding and put me on antibiotics.
Then when I had Victoria it was practically pushed on me to breastfeed her. I couldn’t, I mentally wasn’t in the correct place to do it. I didn’t know at the time but I had PND. Two midwives in the hospital had made me feel a hundred times worse than what I was already feeling, The first asked me “what’s wrong wth you why can’t you hold the baby properly” and the second made me sit in the middle of a six bed ward and take my boob out in front of others and she shoved the baby onto my boob. I was mortified and humiliated, along with the feeling of resent and guilt. After 5 days of giving her breast milk, It was the first night I was home from the hospital, I sat on the side of my bed crying and told Karl to go down and make a bottle for her.
Once i got pregnant on Gabrielle, I said straight away I was going to formula feed her. It meant I could spend more time to heal myself, mentally and physically and that daddy could take over the night duties as well. But I have to say the opposition I got from Nurses, Other Mothers, including mine and my mother in law, and even Karl, was tough but feck it I wanted to be strong and I knew what was best. If I am honest it was brilliant not having to get up every feed to feed her, I still bonded with her, and she’s not been sick as much as the other two. She has only been on two antibiotics in 2 and half years and Charlie is 7 months and he hasn’t been on one yet, Callum was on 6 by the time he was a year old and Victoria was on 4 by her first birthday and then another 6 from the age of 1 to 2. So once Charlie came along and I did the same I gave him a bottle also. I got the same back chat from people, even some man on holidays asked ” Why you baby no getting the breast” I said Because I prefer bottle feeding, “Oh but the baby needs your goodness” But no one will get any goodness unless I am good in myself.
The only downside to bottle feeding is the price of it. I think it’s scandalous the price of the formula. It’s €12.99 for a box of SMA. Its like they are trying to punish people who cannot breastfeed. Because there are a number of women out there who can’t physically breastfeed, due to whatever reason, be it inverted nipples to medication that they need to take to make them selfs better, and I have read and heard stories of guilt and upset that they can’t do it. And the feel like failures of mammies. Why is it marketed this way.
Another opinion I hate is the whole walker situation. “you must not put your child in a walker because it will curl in their feet and cause them hip damage. Lads, my three siblings and myself were all brought up in walkers, And all my four children have been in them, and none of Us has had any hip or foot problems. Obviously, he’s not in it for 8 hours a day but, I am going to go out there and admit it, he is in it more than the recommended 15 minutes a day. I know child cruelty, but he likes it and it keeps him occupied, while I tend the other monsters. While I’m been honest I don’t sterilise the bottles anymore, they get shoved into the dishwasher, and as for sterilising soothers. He’s lucky if the fluff from the floor is picked off it. It will build up his immunity and will make him stronger. As my granddad would say ” put hairs on his chest”. And yeah i gave my 7 month old a slice of Dominos pizza the other night, Why because he grabbed it out of the box, Who am i to take pizza of anyone, But he sucked all the sauce off it and I used common sense and watched him eat it, to make sure he didn’t choke.
I probably do a million other things that are not by the book but do ya know what, I use the book of common sense to get by in life. And I haven’t killed anybody yet. Been a few near death experiences but I have killed any one of them yet. I might have fucked up their lives but I think everyone needs a bit of character in their life.