Confessions of a upset mama.

A 6-year-old has reduced me to tears. I am 33 and yeah a 6-year-old girl has broken me and made me cry. And while I am getting this confession out, it isn’t the first time. Not even the first time this week.
She is a drama queen, since birth, she rushed into the world by emergency c section. It was like the movies. There was a nurse on the side of my bed as I was been rushed to theatre peeping me for surgery. My husband made it into the room as they started the incision. She was taken away in an incubator the only glimpse I got of her was with a little pink knitted hat on her head. She had me terrified, my husband too, what was wrong with her. She had an irregular heartbeat during delivery and she was perfectly ok afterwards. They gave her a course of antibiotics “just Incase there was an infection causing the irregular heartbeat”. Even at that, the nicu would ring down to the ward to say to come and get her as she was been too loud for the other babies.
During the first 5 months, she has colic and cried almost constantly. I wasn’t in a mentally stable place and I actually took my first break down. I cried because she was crying, and then it was like a volcano went off. I wanted to escape, so I did in my head. Months of roller coasting down a slippery slope.
During the past 6 years, she has learned that all she has to do is bat her eyes and daddy will do absolutely anything for her. And if that doesn’t work there is always her Pappy. She is very headstrong but so am I and that means we clash like a lot it is a fact that we are so alike. Not in looks but we are both very stubborn and want things to go our own way. Tori is a gorgeous looking girl and deep down she is very sensitive. She is also very independent which is great , just not around me.
Back to tonight. Tori just has had a chip on her shoulder for the past week about everything. She has been put to bed already 10 times. And because her brother looked (didn’t touch) at the last slice of pizza. She went cray cray on us. So I put her to bed. And under her breath in a demon like fashion she started to say;”our father who art in heaven”. Freaked me out completely and for the fifteen time, I said. Tori get into bed.
Finally after screaming and shouting. Wakening up her 15-month-old brother and 3-year-old sister. Finally, she fell asleep. Not without me been reduced to tears.

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