Perfect Mammies ( Yeah Right)

What is a perfect mammy, what does she do all day, what does she wear?
When I say the perfect mammy I automatically think of Brie Lawson from desperate housewives. But even she had her skeletons in the closet didn’t she.
Nobody is perfect, I’m trying to beat that into my children every day. People make mistakes and what’s perfect for one person is dysfunctional to another. However, I am so afraid of been judged by people that they might think I am anything less than perfect. Society’s idea of a perfect mammy is someone who is emotional and physically fit has a complete level work to home balance. Feeds the children only organic food and plays with her 2.5 children in a creative artistic educational way. Children would go to bed at the exact time every night with a bath and bedtime story read to them. There is never any pile up of washing or ironing to be done and the house is spotless. She even greets her husband home from work each night with a glass of his favourite drink and a smile on her face.
My life is 4 kids 2 dogs and 3 fish, my whole life revolves around the kids and my husband leaving very very little, actually , no time for me. Last night for dinner was this
potato waffles beans and sausages because we only have twenty euro until Thursday. And that’s all we have in the presses for a dinner. I would love to spend all day colouring in and making creative crap. However, my day is filled with laundry and cleaning up after 4 messy animals who thinks that living in a pigsty is a great place to be. I actually have a laundry room that I am always afraid to open the door because a pile of clothes might fall on me and I wouldn’t be found for days. (Actually, that sound’s a like a heaven,  no kids for days !) and my husband is greeted at the door by usually a kid or me crying in his face. Pleading for help.
However Motherhood has become like a spectator sport, People feel free to comment on other’s parenting skills. Throw into the mix the Internet and it all goes downhill from there. On every special occasion, you will see on every social media outlet happy family and it is like a competition who can have the best happy family picture uploaded. For example Mothers day my timeline on all the social media was full of how mammies where having a perfect day and been spoilt however I know people are not going to put up the fact that the daddy went out the night before and didn’t let mammy get a lie on, and she had to get up to the screaming kids. She has to make her own breakfast and put a fake smile on her face to hide the disappointment. Or Daddies said “awe but babe you’re not my mother”… GRRRR, that gets me how do you think a 3-year-old is going to go to a shop and buy mammy a present or even make mammy a card without Daddy’s help. Or the one that really gets me riled up is, when people say “awe what do you need a day off sure your not working you do nothing all day long”… Don’t get me started on that one that’s a whole other post worth.
The competition among mothers is ridiculous. It’s like that the perfect Supermam went to work and had kids and kept the house clean, breastfed until her kid was 20 and now feed him only organics, take him to piano lessons, soccer training, and oh, by the way, is a  size 6 and her hair & makeup always looks great!  These expectations are unrealistic yet we all know women who appear to be meeting them, but she has probably huge dusty black skeletons in her closet and she’s just better than average at hiding them. But the average mammy out there is struggling with things in her life, so what if she didn’t bring John to football or Mellissa to piano lessons on that one Tuesday, they stayed at home and cuddle on the couch and binge watched the Simpsons while eating crisps and chocolate for dinner. Or she hasn’t had time to have a shower today so her greasy hair is tied back up in a hun bun that the Peru two would be proud of. And she has huge industrial size black bags under her eyes.
I’ve put together a few tips if I picked up in my 12 years of parenting. Suffices to say I don’t practice them always but I always have them in my mind.
  1. Stop reading parenting books ( to an extent)
    Reading parenting books can be useful but too much you don’t have to follow it word for word stop thinking there is one right way to do things and that if you’re not doing it that one way your kids will suffer. You will start to think you are a terrible mammy. In real life, mammies get stressed and lose patience. Sometimes, we shout and get angry. But one of the things that the books doesn’t tell you is that is that children are very clever enough to  know that when you act in love that you’re acting on their behalf
  2. Stop listening to other people’s thoughts on your kids
    You will always get mammies saying to you that “oh no you’re not feeding your child a happy meal from McDonald’s My little angel will never eat fast food”. Number one thing ill say is your child will grow up to be an obese geek because he will be sneaking fast food into himself because one thing kids will do is to rebel against what they are not allowed to have. Number two is just to say “thank you for your input, but you this is my child and I will raise him whatever way I want, you have ( or had I love this for any older women who think they know best) your chance to do it your way.
  3. Mammy always knows best
    She does really you always know by your gut feeling whether it is the right thing or not. Always go with your gut. and don’t let anything or body else persuade you to do anything different. As I previously said it’s your child and it your choices you make for them. And another thing I learned was not to listen to doctor google. you’ll have an incurable disease and will only have 12 hours to live.

So Just going to leave it  with this little quote.

If today we were perfect then there will be no need for tomorrow.

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