I pee when I sneeze, what’s your superpower?

*** TMI WARNING***

Let’s talk about Pee!! I am a mammy to four children and yes every time I laugh, sneeze , cough,  jump, walk, get up from a chair, sit down on a chair, I pee my pants.

I am currently trying to toilet train my Gabi, tell her not to pee in her knickers, Yet I do every day, maybe a couple of times a day. After having Callum, when I was 19, I thought ahh I’m only young I won’t need to do my pelvic floor exercise.

Then one night I was out with Karl and a few of his work friends we were in a bar in Dublin, and I started to dance, Jump up and danced next thing I know I pissed my self, I was 21 and I had peed myself. I was too embarrassed I couldn’t say it to anyone, not even Karl. For the next 7 years, I couldn’t tell anyone that I was peeing myself. During my whole pregnancy on Victoria, I constantly leaked, it got worst n worst, the midwives told me it’s normal. The fact that when my waters broke on Victoria, I didn’t think they broke, I just thought that I had wet myself. I had practised my pelvic floor exercises. I did every time I thought of it. It didn’t pass and I went to my GP and talked about it .She referred me onto a physio I actually went to three physios that specialise in women’s health and done what I was told to do but then I had two more kids within the space of 2 years…

I am quite a regular in Phyisotherphy with my back pain and my constant leaking. I was actually at one physiotherapist and she was giving me my exercises to do. She actually inserted two fingers inside me to feel the strength of my muscles, let me tell, you think that being a woman she could have been a little gentler in that area.

Anyway, after the uncomfortable examination was over she explained that you can get these pelvic balls that you insert yourself and you have to keep them up there so get your muscles working. She told me to go get the large ones. Feck sake love I’ve had 4 children I don’t need to be told that my vajayjay is big. I have gone to three different physiotherapists and tried all the exercises and do my pelvic floor exercises every day about 3 times a day. Pelvic floor exercises are also called Kegal exercises, I also have a friend who will remain anonymous, When she was pregnant she was told to do her Kegal exercises. She came back from her appointment and started searching Kettel bells to buy. Don’t know what she was thinking of doing with them???

I have gone to three different physiotherapists and tried all the exercises and do my pelvic floor exercises every day about 3 times a day. Pelvic floor exercises are also called Kegal exercises, I also have a friend who will remain anonymous, When she was pregnant she was told to do her Kegal exercises. She came back from her appointment and started searching Kettel bells to buy. Don’t know what she was thinking of doing with them???

Here is a little explanation on how to do them correctly.

It gets me down a lot having this stress incontinence. I constantly think I smell like old lady wee, I don’t like anyone going near my crotch area. I hate wearing grey or light trousers just in case I leak a bit. My self-esteem has been affected by this. So much so I hate dancing when I go out and going to the gym because I leak. I’m so paranoid that the person behind me on the treadmill is looking at my wet patch getting bigger and bigger.

I have gone to my GP and explained all of this to her and I finally have gotten an appointment in the Coombe to see a gynaecologist next month. The physiotherapist’s and GP both have said my core muscles are not strong enough. I put it down to having back problems and my muscles going to shreds. They call it stress incontinence.. too right it fricken is stressing me out.

Any young girl out there or girls who haven’t had babies.. please please please listen to this pissy mamma.

DO YOUR PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES…..

All that matters is our Kingdom

How can I split myself into four ???… Serious question?  Well if I have to think about it how do I split myself into 6. I need to be Mammy to the four children, who all have different needs and wants, I have to be a wife to my understanding husband (who isn’t getting enough attention lately) and I need to be Me to look after myself. So how do I so it?
I’ve been so busy this week trying to finish the kitchen which I started the June bank holiday 2015.  The kids have been let run wild, The back garden is full of poster paint and wood that the girls decided to “paint” . Charlie has been moved from bouncer to buggy to the floor to walker just to keep him quiet. Karl is off work this week and he has been handed list upon lists to help get the work done, he actually would rather be in work. As for me, I’ve totally neglected myself and my emotions I’ve not allowed myself look at any social media and news programs because of what happened in Manchester at the Ariana Grande concert and also the tiny baby who died in Tipperary, Because I just can’t deal with the feelings I might feel, I haven’t allowed myself to have a spare minute at all this week. To gather my feelings and check in.

After the day I had today. Cleaned the upstairs of the house all three bedrooms and bathroom & also decided to clean the BBQ. While I was out the back scrubbing the BBQ. The horrid sound came. The sound that every parent dreads ….. THE ICECREAM VAN! I knew immediately what would happen, so I shouted: “Victoria don’t open that door.. it was like I had said to her. “If u open that door I will buy you 3 ice creams”  also it was as if I said to Jake the dog “That if you run out the door I’ll buy you three bitches that you can actually get on top off. ( we have a dog pomeranian and a bitch husky.. great fun to be had.. they even swap roles and even ends)
Well within that five seconds Victoria opened the door and Jake the dog went running….. I went running after him… so bear in mind it was 26 degrees in Naas today ,there goes me running in flip flops and a pair of shorts that I put on me this morning knowing I wouldn’t be leaving the house.. and when I get back to find Gabi had poured out a drink from a 2 Litre bottle of Fanta. She missed the glass and filled the table and floor with sticky Fanta… I was so wound up I had to escape. I went to my bedroom and left Karl to look after the kids.

But….

Tonight I let go I spent almost an hour in the garden with the family, playing eye spy we all laughed and got annoyed together and for the first time this week we all got along, also figured out that my kids didn’t lick their weirdness from a stone. And after I put the big kids to bed, the baby, Charlie, just clung to me. It was as if he wanted to say to me mammy don’t put me down again. He held onto my hair while I felt him inhaling my scent. I could feel his cheekbone going into a smile. That’s what made me say… Fuck the house. Fuck the residents association. Fuck anyone other than the Our Kingdom.  The six of us is all that matters :The King & Queen, The Prince’s and Princess and well even the Stupid Dogs. That’s all who I care about.

Now, this could be the gin and tonic sorbet and bottle of prosecco talking….

Toxic People

Eh, I am sorry, I forgot I only exist to you when you need something.

Do you remember in school the girls would only talk to you if you got the new Polly Pocket doll, or felt stickers for your sticker book, or if you had chocolate spread on your lunch and they didn’t. And if you were anything like me, you let them because you loved the fact you were getting attention and you felt that they actually liked you for who you were, not for what you had. Then for the rest of the school year they’d completely blank you and ignore you and your feelings, you’d be completely distraught and confused about why they hurt you. Your mother told you that this would happen, and you’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t let this happen again and again.

This repeated throughout my life, I would think that a person would like me and we would really get along, then I’d realise that they are only using me. I’m just too soft and I want to please everyone. I’d do without just to please someone and have on occasion put other people’s needs before on my own families, for example; I stupidly loaned money out to people and only had half my weekly allowance left and I would be put on the spot when someone would ask me for a lift somewhere when I’m going in the complete other direction, of course I’d say yes. But then im rushing back or im late to pick up my child from school. On the other hand , when I would need a lift or a favour they would say no I’m busy, or if I asked would they mind looking after a child while I rushed to the doctor with another one. They would be always busy.

We all have people in our lives or so called “friends” that are actually toxic people. You may need to be nice and friendly to them because maybe they are friends by association or you work with them or they are your child’s friend’s parent. There are a few types of toxic people in everyone’s life. You have the constantly jealous judgemental person, you know the one who is never ever happy for anyone and they are constantly trying to find some fault in everything that others do. They are like this because they themselves are not happy with their own lives and they want the rest of the world to be miserable with them. Another way you know if a person is toxic is if when you’re around them, they make you feel depressed low and in a bad mood. Say for example, they are constantly moaning and giving out about their partner, and you come home and are angry with your husband, but he hasn’t done anything wrong. Some toxic people are magnets for drama, something is always wrong. Always, and of course, once a problem is solved, another one emerges. And they only want your empathy, sympathy and support–but not your advice!  You offer help and solutions, but they never seem to want to fix anything. Instead, they complain and complain. Then you get the people who constantly interrupt you while you are talking and you are looking at them while you are talking, but you can see they are not paying attention to a word you are saying. One thing that drives me mad is when I’m talking to somebody and you must explain the thing 4 times to them, like if you listened in the first place you’ll understand.

Here are a few signs I’ve come up with to notice if you have a toxic person in your life.

If you feel like:

  • You must constantly save this person and fix their problems,
  • You are covering up or hiding for them.
  • You dread seeing them.
  • You feel drained after being with them.
  • You get angry, sad or depressed when you are around them.
  • They cause you to gossip or be mean.
  • You feel you have to impress them.
  • You’re affected by their drama or problems.
  • They ignore your needs.

Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty, it’s an act of self-care.

You deserve to have wonderful and loving people in your life and I know it’s hard to have people upset with you, but if it means losing and getting rid of these types of people in your life, just walk away or if you can’t totally walk awaythen distance yourself from them. You should weigh up your friendship and ask yourself, are you really losing a friend or are you gaining positivity and happiness in your life. And if you are worried about what they will say about you to others, Rise your head up high because you need not worry about what people say behind your back, they are behind you for a reason.

Holiday Post

1 checked in bag 5 carry on cases 6 backpacks 2 buggies 1 baby carrier 4 children 2 very tired parents.
We are just back from a week in the lovely Corralejo in Fuerteventura in Canary Islands in Spain.  We braved it with 4 kids 3 under the age of 5 and a hormonal 12-yr-old. It was our first beach holiday in 7 years and Family holiday in 4 years.  We braved it with 4 kids 3 under the age of 5 and a hormonal 12-yr-old. It was the first time he ever left me for that length and even it was his first trip aboard without me. (My son that is not father-in-law)
Foremost of all, I felt this holiday was one that precisely was not meant to go on. With several people close to the family getting seriously ill in hospital and we had no passports for the children, even though, we applied for them a month before we were due to depart.

I’ve just made out a few tips to help you learn from my mistakes about going on a plane with kids.

  1. Make certain you receive all your passports in your hand before you book the flights, or even give yourself two months to receiver them. If anyone needs to deal with the passport office in Dublin I’d strongly advise you to make an appointment and go in if you don’t have much time to get one. The standard 15 days for passport express is not really 15 days it’s more like 25 days. And when you call them there is a message telling you that they don’t answer phone calls. They also don’t reply to emails the only ways of talking to someone is Twitter and going into the office. If you have an enquiry you don’t need an appointment. Anyhow, we applied for all four passports for the children to renewals and two new ones went to the Garda station and got all four forms stamped. You need to have the children with you and their father, Naas Garda station was glad to see the back of us.  So, after doing all this paying for the express fee and posting off, we tracked it online and it said we wouldn’t get them back until the 25th April. Sure, we needed them before the 13th .after private messaging them on twitter and it takes a day for them to reply and even both of us going into the passport office on two separate occasions we finally got them on them on the 10th April 3 days to spare
  2. Do not book the earliest flight… It may be cheaper, but your sanity isn’t worth it. We were flying out at 7.40 am, so that meant we had to be up at 4.15 to go to the airport, we did pack the car the night before, best tip ever as it causes less stress. So, we got to Quick park in Dublin airport at 5 am to then park the car, unload the car. (Remember 1 checked in bag 5 carry on cases 6 backpacks 2 buggies 1 baby carrier 4 children, 2 very tired parents) get the stuff to the bus stop while a bus is waiting for us. Kids crying because its cold and they are tired. If I had booked a later flight we could have gotten to airport earlier, hubby could of dropped me and the kids (or half of them) to the airport with the bags, drove back to the car park and park it while we waited for him, by the time we are on the flight the kids were wired and over tired it’s a 4 hour flight to Fuerteventura and they were like a pack of wired cats that got high on skittles. Then they were too excited to be staying in a new place and to see their grandparents and brother.
  3. One big thing is if you are flying with Ryanair don’t try to save the money by not booking in luggage. Its €70 return for a bag, but it’s well worth it because as we thought we’d save a bit of money and only book in a 15-kilo bag for the 6 of us and carry on the 5 carry-ones that we are allowed to. But completely forgot about the fact that the two-year-old and the five-year-old cannot manage the cases and so Mammy and Daddy needed to try to wheel all these as well as try to mind the three younger kids.
  4. If you are bringing a child under 4 I’d highly recommend bringing a buggy for each child. We brought two as even though our two-year-old won’t sit in a buggy at home, she really needed it when we were away it’s a lot of walking and also late nights. We used one for the baby (5 months) also and I brought my baby carrier so I could strap him on. This came in handy as when the five-year-old got tired we put her in the baby buggy and I carried him. Less moaning and when Daddy was sunburned he didn’t have to carry her much on his shoulders. If you are doing this and don’t need it in the airport you can ask them to check it in with your luggage, you just need a sticker label of them and bring it to oversize baggage.
  5. Security is a nerve-racking place even for people who don’t suffer anxiety. I just need to see a guard and I panic that I’m breaking the law. I’ve watched enough of banged up a board and border control to make me think awful things will happen to me. So, make sure all liquids are in the bags that are required by the airport. But baby food, bottles of milk, baby medicine, yoghurts, etc. don’t need to be under the 100 ml and you can carry as much as you like. But try to have them all handy in the changing bag so you can take them out and put them into the tray. The security needs to test these by dipping a swab into them you must agree to this. Also, make sure there is nothing in the buggy basket or in any pockets. This need to be all emptied out. And they also swab the buggy for drugs, I bought it only a day or two before and had never used it that was a major eek moment.
  6. With 3 kids at that hour of morning say goodbye to any airport, shopping you think you might get done. Just head straight to the gate. And if you are flying with Ryanair it’s a long, long walk to the gate. Probably 20 minutes for an adult with two wandering and easily distracted girls its about 40 minutes.
  7. Make sure you have tablets charged earphones that work, different colours and books and teddies whatever your child uses to keep quiet, I had these, but none kept mine quiet, the five-year-old decided to sing the song from tangled at the top of her voice I had to keep telling her to keep quiet. Also, bring soothers bottles and hard sucky sweets for taking off and landing.

 

I must say Corralejo was a beautiful place and we stayed in Oasis Dunas .Click Here. It was perfect for the children, with 3 pools 4 water slides and 2 playgrounds. They also have a kid’s club; however, we didn’t avail of this. A pool bar that served lunch and drinks all day and a separate bar that opened in the evening a supermarket and a restaurant. The apartment was lovely there were two rooms with both having two  beds, fan, wardrobe and dressing table and a real wooden cot for the baby The kitchen had the standard  Cupboards, fridge, 2 rings ceramic hob, toaster, microwave, kettle and coffee maker, There were a sofa bed and a terrace with patio furniture and a sun lounger and where we where it was a real suntrap.
The town is lovely it has a lot of modern shops like Mango, Bershka and Zara as well as the usual tourist spots where you can get your rip of goods like fake MK bags and Super dry T-shirts. There are tonnes of restaurants my favourite while I was there were INFUSIONS and loved Toro Beach but couldn’t enjoy it as the kids were misbehaving and Most bars accept kids but the friendly bar is Murphy’s Irish Bar.
I came home for the holiday with 3 Spanish looking kids, they all have my shallow skin and are golden in colour and the baby is snow white & hubby is a lobster. The flight home was as much stress as the flight over, but with an added random drug swab for my five-year-old daughter, also she had a Build a Bear Teddy bear had wires in it and the security asked me if it was a bomb. I didn’t even know it did anything, but if you press his ears they light up.
So after the Stressful week of a holiday I couldn’t wait to get back into the norm of school runs, Think the next time we decide to go away as a family the kids will have to be a lot older than now. I need a holiday after it.