I pee when I sneeze, what’s your superpower?

*** TMI WARNING***

Let’s talk about Pee!! I am a mammy to four children and yes every time I laugh, sneeze , cough,  jump, walk, get up from a chair, sit down on a chair, I pee my pants.

I am currently trying to toilet train my Gabi, tell her not to pee in her knickers, Yet I do every day, maybe a couple of times a day. After having Callum, when I was 19, I thought ahh I’m only young I won’t need to do my pelvic floor exercise.

Then one night I was out with Karl and a few of his work friends we were in a bar in Dublin, and I started to dance, Jump up and danced next thing I know I pissed my self, I was 21 and I had peed myself. I was too embarrassed I couldn’t say it to anyone, not even Karl. For the next 7 years, I couldn’t tell anyone that I was peeing myself. During my whole pregnancy on Victoria, I constantly leaked, it got worst n worst, the midwives told me it’s normal. The fact that when my waters broke on Victoria, I didn’t think they broke, I just thought that I had wet myself. I had practised my pelvic floor exercises. I did every time I thought of it. It didn’t pass and I went to my GP and talked about it .She referred me onto a physio I actually went to three physios that specialise in women’s health and done what I was told to do but then I had two more kids within the space of 2 years…

I am quite a regular in Phyisotherphy with my back pain and my constant leaking. I was actually at one physiotherapist and she was giving me my exercises to do. She actually inserted two fingers inside me to feel the strength of my muscles, let me tell, you think that being a woman she could have been a little gentler in that area.

Anyway, after the uncomfortable examination was over she explained that you can get these pelvic balls that you insert yourself and you have to keep them up there so get your muscles working. She told me to go get the large ones. Feck sake love I’ve had 4 children I don’t need to be told that my vajayjay is big. I have gone to three different physiotherapists and tried all the exercises and do my pelvic floor exercises every day about 3 times a day. Pelvic floor exercises are also called Kegal exercises, I also have a friend who will remain anonymous, When she was pregnant she was told to do her Kegal exercises. She came back from her appointment and started searching Kettel bells to buy. Don’t know what she was thinking of doing with them???

I have gone to three different physiotherapists and tried all the exercises and do my pelvic floor exercises every day about 3 times a day. Pelvic floor exercises are also called Kegal exercises, I also have a friend who will remain anonymous, When she was pregnant she was told to do her Kegal exercises. She came back from her appointment and started searching Kettel bells to buy. Don’t know what she was thinking of doing with them???

Here is a little explanation on how to do them correctly.

It gets me down a lot having this stress incontinence. I constantly think I smell like old lady wee, I don’t like anyone going near my crotch area. I hate wearing grey or light trousers just in case I leak a bit. My self-esteem has been affected by this. So much so I hate dancing when I go out and going to the gym because I leak. I’m so paranoid that the person behind me on the treadmill is looking at my wet patch getting bigger and bigger.

I have gone to my GP and explained all of this to her and I finally have gotten an appointment in the Coombe to see a gynaecologist next month. The physiotherapist’s and GP both have said my core muscles are not strong enough. I put it down to having back problems and my muscles going to shreds. They call it stress incontinence.. too right it fricken is stressing me out.

Any young girl out there or girls who haven’t had babies.. please please please listen to this pissy mamma.

DO YOUR PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES…..

All that matters is our Kingdom

How can I split myself into four ???… Serious question?  Well if I have to think about it how do I split myself into 6. I need to be Mammy to the four children, who all have different needs and wants, I have to be a wife to my understanding husband (who isn’t getting enough attention lately) and I need to be Me to look after myself. So how do I so it?
I’ve been so busy this week trying to finish the kitchen which I started the June bank holiday 2015.  The kids have been let run wild, The back garden is full of poster paint and wood that the girls decided to “paint” . Charlie has been moved from bouncer to buggy to the floor to walker just to keep him quiet. Karl is off work this week and he has been handed list upon lists to help get the work done, he actually would rather be in work. As for me, I’ve totally neglected myself and my emotions I’ve not allowed myself look at any social media and news programs because of what happened in Manchester at the Ariana Grande concert and also the tiny baby who died in Tipperary, Because I just can’t deal with the feelings I might feel, I haven’t allowed myself to have a spare minute at all this week. To gather my feelings and check in.

After the day I had today. Cleaned the upstairs of the house all three bedrooms and bathroom & also decided to clean the BBQ. While I was out the back scrubbing the BBQ. The horrid sound came. The sound that every parent dreads ….. THE ICECREAM VAN! I knew immediately what would happen, so I shouted: “Victoria don’t open that door.. it was like I had said to her. “If u open that door I will buy you 3 ice creams”  also it was as if I said to Jake the dog “That if you run out the door I’ll buy you three bitches that you can actually get on top off. ( we have a dog pomeranian and a bitch husky.. great fun to be had.. they even swap roles and even ends)
Well within that five seconds Victoria opened the door and Jake the dog went running….. I went running after him… so bear in mind it was 26 degrees in Naas today ,there goes me running in flip flops and a pair of shorts that I put on me this morning knowing I wouldn’t be leaving the house.. and when I get back to find Gabi had poured out a drink from a 2 Litre bottle of Fanta. She missed the glass and filled the table and floor with sticky Fanta… I was so wound up I had to escape. I went to my bedroom and left Karl to look after the kids.

But….

Tonight I let go I spent almost an hour in the garden with the family, playing eye spy we all laughed and got annoyed together and for the first time this week we all got along, also figured out that my kids didn’t lick their weirdness from a stone. And after I put the big kids to bed, the baby, Charlie, just clung to me. It was as if he wanted to say to me mammy don’t put me down again. He held onto my hair while I felt him inhaling my scent. I could feel his cheekbone going into a smile. That’s what made me say… Fuck the house. Fuck the residents association. Fuck anyone other than the Our Kingdom.  The six of us is all that matters :The King & Queen, The Prince’s and Princess and well even the Stupid Dogs. That’s all who I care about.

Now, this could be the gin and tonic sorbet and bottle of prosecco talking….