Toxic People

Eh, I am sorry, I forgot I only exist to you when you need something.

Do you remember in school the girls would only talk to you if you got the new Polly Pocket doll, or felt stickers for your sticker book, or if you had chocolate spread on your lunch and they didn’t. And if you were anything like me, you let them because you loved the fact you were getting attention and you felt that they actually liked you for who you were, not for what you had. Then for the rest of the school year they’d completely blank you and ignore you and your feelings, you’d be completely distraught and confused about why they hurt you. Your mother told you that this would happen, and you’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t let this happen again and again.

This repeated throughout my life, I would think that a person would like me and we would really get along, then I’d realise that they are only using me. I’m just too soft and I want to please everyone. I’d do without just to please someone and have on occasion put other people’s needs before on my own families, for example; I stupidly loaned money out to people and only had half my weekly allowance left and I would be put on the spot when someone would ask me for a lift somewhere when I’m going in the complete other direction, of course I’d say yes. But then im rushing back or im late to pick up my child from school. On the other hand , when I would need a lift or a favour they would say no I’m busy, or if I asked would they mind looking after a child while I rushed to the doctor with another one. They would be always busy.

We all have people in our lives or so called “friends” that are actually toxic people. You may need to be nice and friendly to them because maybe they are friends by association or you work with them or they are your child’s friend’s parent. There are a few types of toxic people in everyone’s life. You have the constantly jealous judgemental person, you know the one who is never ever happy for anyone and they are constantly trying to find some fault in everything that others do. They are like this because they themselves are not happy with their own lives and they want the rest of the world to be miserable with them. Another way you know if a person is toxic is if when you’re around them, they make you feel depressed low and in a bad mood. Say for example, they are constantly moaning and giving out about their partner, and you come home and are angry with your husband, but he hasn’t done anything wrong. Some toxic people are magnets for drama, something is always wrong. Always, and of course, once a problem is solved, another one emerges. And they only want your empathy, sympathy and support–but not your advice!  You offer help and solutions, but they never seem to want to fix anything. Instead, they complain and complain. Then you get the people who constantly interrupt you while you are talking and you are looking at them while you are talking, but you can see they are not paying attention to a word you are saying. One thing that drives me mad is when I’m talking to somebody and you must explain the thing 4 times to them, like if you listened in the first place you’ll understand.

Here are a few signs I’ve come up with to notice if you have a toxic person in your life.

If you feel like:

  • You must constantly save this person and fix their problems,
  • You are covering up or hiding for them.
  • You dread seeing them.
  • You feel drained after being with them.
  • You get angry, sad or depressed when you are around them.
  • They cause you to gossip or be mean.
  • You feel you have to impress them.
  • You’re affected by their drama or problems.
  • They ignore your needs.

Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty, it’s an act of self-care.

You deserve to have wonderful and loving people in your life and I know it’s hard to have people upset with you, but if it means losing and getting rid of these types of people in your life, just walk away or if you can’t totally walk awaythen distance yourself from them. You should weigh up your friendship and ask yourself, are you really losing a friend or are you gaining positivity and happiness in your life. And if you are worried about what they will say about you to others, Rise your head up high because you need not worry about what people say behind your back, they are behind you for a reason.

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