You Dont know What Goes On Behind Closed Doors

I have been told that I am a very friendly person, one of the features that people comment about me is that I smile a lot. However, from years of brushing my depression under the carpets and not talking about my feelings, I have mastered the art of fake smiling.

I may look like I have my shit together to the outside world but behind my hall door I am just a girl who doesn’t want to get up in the morning time, who has to actually build myself up to have a shower, who doesn’t care about her appearance or health. and the thought of leaving the house has made me have countless anxious thoughts and probably have taken a panic attack. I snap and shout at everyone ( hubby gets it the most), Kids are kids and will rebel back and probably do something stupid but its the end of the world for me. I lose it. I’m so stressed that by the time we get into the car my kids are terrified to even sneeze. I’m a wreck, palpitations, and sweat going on and my husband hates me.

But to the outside world, I have my hair done I have a full face of make-up on, I am wearing nice clothes and I have a happy family me and hubby are so in love and everything is perfect.

Looks great from the outside but you don’t know what went on behind the closed door……

2 thoughts on “You Dont know What Goes On Behind Closed Doors”

  1. Hi Babs, I browsed through your blog this morning and thought it written so refreshingly honest that I had to leave a comment. Thanks for sharing your story so openly. I hope it inspires other mammies and gives them the courage to speak up about what is really going on in their lives. I am a Mammie to a beautiful baby girl who will turn one this weekend. I had a postnatal trauma after the delivery but noticed it way too late. It took about 8 months to get back on my feet with a lot of support of my mum and my husband. I also came to terms with the fact that it is ok that not everything is perfect and the main thing is that all are healthy. One spends so much time worrying about petty useless things…
    Anyway, just wanted to say thanks again and sending you lots of best wishes, Sandra

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