I have been told that I am a very friendly person, one of the features that people comment about me is that I smile a lot. However, from years of brushing my depression under the carpets and not talking about my feelings, I have mastered the art of fake smiling.
I may look like I have my shit together to the outside world but behind my hall door I am just a girl who doesn’t want to get up in the morning time, who has to actually build myself up to have a shower, who doesn’t care about her appearance or health. and the thought of leaving the house has made me have countless anxious thoughts and probably have taken a panic attack. I snap and shout at everyone ( hubby gets it the most), Kids are kids and will rebel back and probably do something stupid but its the end of the world for me. I lose it. I’m so stressed that by the time we get into the car my kids are terrified to even sneeze. I’m a wreck, palpitations, and sweat going on and my husband hates me.
But to the outside world, I have my hair done I have a full face of make-up on, I am wearing nice clothes and I have a happy family me and hubby are so in love and everything is perfect.
Looks great from the outside but you don’t know what went on behind the closed door……